I'm one of those people who rarely do or say what they really want. I'm someone who often thinks after the fact: this is what I should have done, this is what I truly desired. This is what I cannot live without. I've deliberately put myself in a state in which the only possible outcome of certain developments feels ... something between bitter-sweet and plain bitter (maybe this makes sense to those of you who know what bitter means). Self-evident lessons on a specific meaning of Catch-22.

By all appearances, the weekend was very calm and relaxing, with wonderful weather. For example, I went swimming four times within 24 hours. Emotionally, it was one of the roughest roller-coasters I've been on (well, I dislike heights anyway), which, I believe, made me behave rather oddly at times. Sorry. I should take my crises like a man and leave the whining to those who do it better. But I honestly wish I felt less. Just simply less. Gray instead of flaming red. The kind of shade for which it's impossible to develop an addiction.
09:37