Swamp
Confessions of an Academic Pseudo-Giraffe
22.5.06
Would you love a monsterman?
Could you understand
the beauty of the beast?
Well, a lot of people could and did. LORDI WON! Congratulations, you monsters.
Picture from www.drakkar.de 11:04
9.5.06
I received the pre-examiners’ statements on my dissertation manuscript a few days ago. They are prime examples of the kind of documents that one only gains the courage to look at very gradually, after much deliberation. I managed to print the files – scanned for me thousands of kilometres away – without reading more than a few words, and then they rested on my desk for a couple of hours while I read the newspaper and two academic articles, touched upon a text of my own, and stared into the horizon trying to think of something of consequence, other than reading the statements, to do next. Inevitably, the moment arrived when I couldn’t think of anything important enough to serve as an excuse for postponing the ordeal.
I say ordeal because I have little inborn talent in taking criticism on my work. I generally manage to use relevant feedback to my advantage, but the process is never anything close to pleasant. This is not necessarily even dependent on the tone and content of the comments – sometimes praise is harder than insult. Both extremities in feedback seem suspect; it’s as if they always imply an agenda on the commentator’s part. This is the paradox of reading reports like this that expose and scrutinize what I have produced: I fear seeing strong statements – because they’re somehow “always already” problematic and disputable – but know that anything else will hardly be useful for the subsequent improvement of the text.
Well, both esteemed professors did conclude that my work is worthy of being defended in public. And I did receive plenty of “suggestions”, “reservations”, and such. And there are a couple of comments I’m moderately proud of. I know reports like this have a certain formula, and criticisms are often hidden behind polite statements. Still, it feels good to see adjectives such as “admirable”, “brilliant”, or “illuminating” being utilized in a description of my argument or writing, especially when their user is a big name in the field. Excellent oil for the rusty hinges of my professional confidence. They nicely moderate the effect of the few pages full of “reservations” that follow the one page of praise in his statement.
Welcome, everyone (yes, both of you), to the defense in September – most likely on Friday the eighth. The academic community in Finland often opts for Friday. That way it’s comparably easy to reset mind and body afterwards. 09:06
I say ordeal because I have little inborn talent in taking criticism on my work. I generally manage to use relevant feedback to my advantage, but the process is never anything close to pleasant. This is not necessarily even dependent on the tone and content of the comments – sometimes praise is harder than insult. Both extremities in feedback seem suspect; it’s as if they always imply an agenda on the commentator’s part. This is the paradox of reading reports like this that expose and scrutinize what I have produced: I fear seeing strong statements – because they’re somehow “always already” problematic and disputable – but know that anything else will hardly be useful for the subsequent improvement of the text.
Well, both esteemed professors did conclude that my work is worthy of being defended in public. And I did receive plenty of “suggestions”, “reservations”, and such. And there are a couple of comments I’m moderately proud of. I know reports like this have a certain formula, and criticisms are often hidden behind polite statements. Still, it feels good to see adjectives such as “admirable”, “brilliant”, or “illuminating” being utilized in a description of my argument or writing, especially when their user is a big name in the field. Excellent oil for the rusty hinges of my professional confidence. They nicely moderate the effect of the few pages full of “reservations” that follow the one page of praise in his statement.
Welcome, everyone (yes, both of you), to the defense in September – most likely on Friday the eighth. The academic community in Finland often opts for Friday. That way it’s comparably easy to reset mind and body afterwards. 09:06
